your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
