One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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