when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
