That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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