He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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