Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
