So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
