so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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