so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
