you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize