the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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