btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize