You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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