Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
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My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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