Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
