Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
