My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
