So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
