Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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