Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
