before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
