the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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