I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
