she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
only if we run a train.
done.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize