I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
