Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.