can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night