your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am