How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
