lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
