seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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