They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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