For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
