just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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