I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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