babies were throwing up all over the place
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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