Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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