are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
