:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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