he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
