By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
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