So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
i now understand why vodka
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
