my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize