I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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