So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
