I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This baby is an asshole
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i out mim tonsoeep
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