I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
