Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
