im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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