I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
