There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
