i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
