a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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