Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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