I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
