...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
