So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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