..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize